Had a heart-to-heart chat with Teck Yi on board 184 yesterday, on my way home.
He asked me something...and my reply was...
"All i wanna do is to, practise very hard, and share my passion with someone, because, if no one is to appreciate it, what do I practise so hard for? To me, its not about being better than people, its about making people enjoy and understand what you tell from your playing."
I've long not bagged too much hope in becoming a professional. I've learnt to be down-to-earth. But that doesnt imply i give up. If i cant be a performer, i will be a teacher...i will make my kid a proper musician when he grows up. If even being a teacher fails, i can still be an accountant. I can still make a living. Because its true that in this world, without money, everything is just a lie. Thats what Teck yi thinks as well.
And thats the life of a musician.
这,就是音乐家的命。
I'm feeling extremely lethargic.
I dont wanna do a single thing. I dun wanna practise, i dun wanna do my homework, i dun wanna speak to people, i dun even wanna touch any games at all. I'm always late for class, i'm not learning anything from lectures even when i tried so hard to. My results are dropping. I'm screwing things up. I'm irritating people even when i dun intend to. I just wanna stare at the walls, the ceiling, the sky....
And my recent random mood is making my time in school bad. I'm irritated from the smallest of things even when no one is irritable, even when i appear chirpy for the sake of peace. But I swear, I wanna hit something.
Haiz...i dont even know the reason. I want this mood away. Listening to ~When the love falls~ is making me emo.
Wow. Its been quite some time since i wrote an "essay"
~My first year is ending
My exams are coming~