*********************************************

Now for something a little more solemn...

I finally attended Tax tutorial! And got to speak heart to heart with Dear Ms Brenda Lee (its Miss but she's married actually).

That's what got it all going.

I've been thinking for a month.

But i guess all of which is redundant.

Because what i should be thinking is...

What the fuck is it that i really want in my life.

Will it be to do something to satisfy the people around me?

Or selfishly do what i want without the regards of those concerned parties.

But is what i want, really what i want, and really right to be what i want?

Isit realistic? Isit practical?

Money Money, Money can't buy everything.

But without it, I can't buy my favourite lappy, my favourite book, my favrouite games, my favourite clothings, my favourite bag, my favourite DVDs, my favourite car...and the list goes on.

Am i willing to risk all those of the above for what i call...my ambition?

Ms Brenda told, and asked me in a very simple statement. "I have dreams. We all have dreams. But don't you think that sometimes, what you do is not only about you. Don't you think that sometimes, maybe we should do something to satisfy the concerned parties before we set out to do what we want."

My parents thinks i'm good. My teachers thinks I'm good. My closer friends feels that I'm good, albeit spacing out alot recently, being blur at times, being over-confident when i start doing well. Therefore, i felt that, if i do what i want, I'll have no problems in doing it well too. But....

I'm turning 19 soon. I can't act like this anymore. I cannot go on doing things on impulse. I can't expect to get what i want all the time anymore. For 18 years of her life, i have done nothing but give my mum constant worries.

I'm giving my classmates in school alot of worries too. I can feel the distance drawing larger. When i think about what i want, I'm not thinking about them. I'm being selfish.

Well maybe just maybe.

I know the answer already.

Hehe.

Full Stop.